The Journey Of A Strong Girl: Chapter -2

The rains so beautiful and charming yet can be so
intimidating at times. Sipping my coffee I was enjoying this devastatingly beautiful
act of nature from my window. There was a time when rains made me happier.Today when I felt anxieties I realized how much things have changed for me. I was witty then I went off the track and now I feel stronger than ever. (not sure about the witty part though.)

While sitting down next to the window, seeing the rains and reading book I feel like I’m in a different world. This is my world. No relation to the real one in any sense. I am alone but I am contented. I am anxious but yet I am satisfied enough with myself. That is very rare I know. And many people may not even understand this feeling ( people call me eccentric). But it feels better here. How many of us boast of the privilege of getting contented with themselves. In their own eyes.

I know I am not perfect rather I am far away from perfection but when I see my flaws I see a hope of improvement. I see a hope of getting better and I see the image of an emerging strong woman. For a lot of people I may seem weak and shattered. But who cares about these people anyway. Within me I hold the secret of what all I have seen and been through and yet I survived that all. Like a warrior I fought despite of shedding tears at times and crying over the pain. I did not give up on myself. I tried to be strong. I tried to improve. And above all I set up high standards for myself and each day I am working hard to achieve them. I can make things easier too for myself and still I chose something that I knew will be hard for me to achieve but that is the only thing which can make me happy.

It is strange when everyone has given up on me I feel more confident and motivated. When there’s nobody by my side to have faith in me or support me, I feel stronger. My faith in myself has increased. I have certainly started loving myself. I know for others I haven’t achieved anything in life but in my eyes I have achieved a lot. From a diffident broken girl I have emerged as a strong woman. And I am proud of my failures.

All of a sudden there was a knocking at the door which brought my thoughts back to the real world. It was Chotu asking me if I need something.

I decided to have my meal at the
restaurant of the hotel. The restaurant was simple but was cozy. I
sat at the corner table near a huge glass window from where I could
have a view of the outside world. But due to heavy down pour and darkness
of night I could hardly see anything.

Waiting for my dinner I was engrossed in my thoughts so deeply, I did not realize that
somebody is addressing me. ‘excuse me’ I looked up. It was that other
guest of the hotel. ‘Hi, I’m sorry to disturb you but can I share the
table with you? I am Raghu’.

‘There are many empty tables here, why
you want to share it with me?’ I said with an irritable look on my
face.

‘We are alone here so I thought it will be nice to have each
other’s company. We do not have much to do here anyway. These hilly
areas are usually so desolate that sometimes they get real dull’. ‘excuse
me’ cutting him in between I said ‘ I prefer being alone and so I do
not need any company, thank you’. ‘oh I’m sorry to disturb you then’ he said and left looking for another table and finally sat next to my table. He was making me more uncomfortable now. Still I did not leave. I wish I had though……..