Category: Blog/ Poetry/ Writings

Time to Explore- Chapter 5

by stumbled thoughts, posted in Blog/ Poetry/ Writings

May be it is true that everything happens for a reason. You just do not realise it when things are happening around you but later on you figure out why it all happened. I was feeling stuck but getting stuck in a storm was something I needed, to slow down and look around myself, observe things and people. I was living a moment which I am going to remember my whole life but I am not sure if I will be able to believe it to be real ever.

After lunch as was decided, Chotu knocked my door to ask me if I am ready to see the woods. For me all this was a completely new experience and I did not want to miss it. I could not believe it but I never felt this normal for past one year. I forgot if I ever was sad or dejected with my life. I stopped feeling like I am stuck to this place. It felt like I am at the right place now. I weren’t stuck, I was supposed to be here.
“You’re ready Madamji?” Chotu asked me as I opened the door. “Yes I am. But have you taken permission from your Manager Sahab (Sir) regarding this?”
“Yes Madamji. I told him that you wish to see the Jungle and want to take a walk around. He however warned me not to take you too far and deep in the forests. I told you about the wild animals?”
“Yes! I remember Chotu. We will not go too far. We do not have much time either. We have to come back before sunset. Remember?”
“Yes Madamji we should be back before sunset.”
– Sweta

Time To Know More.. Chapter 4

by stumbled thoughts, posted in Blog/ Poetry/ Writings
Talking to Chotu made me realise how small my own pain is. This young boy who should be playing with his friends and going to school like other children do, is here with so much sense of responsibility and maturity, working hard so that his family does not have to sleep empty stomach. All of a sudden my life started to look so much better. I felt so blessed that I never had to go through what this young child at such tender age have to.
“Did you ever attend the school?” I asked. “Yes Madam ji. There was a small school in our village. I use to go to school regularly before I started working here.” He said with a proud look on his face. ” I was a brilliant boy. My teacher always praised me. But due to my family’s financial problems I had to leave school and come here.” There was a lump in his throat. ” So is this place dangerous? It looks beautiful. I would love to take a walk around.” I said looking towards the forested hillside. I wanted to divert our conversation. “Not always Madam ji. But it is better not to go too far. There are man eating leopards too in these forests. But they usually do not come out during day time.” he said. ” Okay then you can accompany me to these forests. Will you?” I asked him.
“Sure Madam ji. After lunch we can go” And he happily agreed.
– Sweta

Sharing Pain: Chapter-3

by stumbled thoughts, posted in Blog/ Poetry/ Writings
I woke up in the morning with a hope that the weather will be fine and I can go further to somewhere better. But to my despair when I peeked through the curtains of my room’s window, I could only see more rain. It was still raining!
It rained continuously whole night and led to landslip thus blocking the road. “It is not possible to go further until the road gets cleared. There are also predictions of more down pouring in next 24 hours. It is not advisable to travel in such weather condition” declared the manager. This news made me more miserable. I wanted to leave this place as soon as possible but the nature was acting against my will and I had no option but to surrender to it.
The other guest Raghu did not seem happy either with this news, I could sense it from the look on his face but we had to wait for the weather to get better.
The hotel was located in the heart of nowhere thus it lacked any kind of luxury we are use to. Though it provided all the basic things needed to survive, it was far away from any comforts available in cities.
After the breakfast I decided to explore the hotel more, there wasn’t much to do after all. Chotu happily agreed to be my guide. The rain had stopped for now but it was still dark and cloudy. It seemed that it can start raining anytime again soon. I asked Chotu about how he ended up here and more about the place. “Madam ji my parents were very poor. My father was the only bread earner in our family of seven. Being the eldest son I knew my responsibilities well. Therefore I decided to work. Manager Saab (Sir) is also from my village and he knows my family well. He knows our financial condition. When he asked me if I want to work with him I instantly said yes. Now every month he sends my salary to my family. And for me, he provides me everything. He is a good man, treats me like a son. We hardly get to see such people in life.”  I could feel the pain in his voice when he was talking about his family, how much he miss them and how he use to play with his three younger brothers and one sister. His sister was youngest of them all and he was really close to her.
-Sweta

The Journey Of A Strong Girl: Chapter -2

by stumbled thoughts, posted in Blog/ Poetry/ Writings

The rains so beautiful and charming yet can be so
intimidating at times. Sipping my coffee I was enjoying this devastatingly beautiful
act of nature from my window. There was a time when rains made me happier.Today when I felt anxieties I realized how much things have changed for me. I was witty then I went off the track and now I feel stronger than ever. (not sure about the witty part though.)

While sitting down next to the window, seeing the rains and reading book I feel like I’m in a different world. This is my world. No relation to the real one in any sense. I am alone but I am contented. I am anxious but yet I am satisfied enough with myself. That is very rare I know. And many people may not even understand this feeling ( people call me eccentric). But it feels better here. How many of us boast of the privilege of getting contented with themselves. In their own eyes.

I know I am not perfect rather I am far away from perfection but when I see my flaws I see a hope of improvement. I see a hope of getting better and I see the image of an emerging strong woman. For a lot of people I may seem weak and shattered. But who cares about these people anyway. Within me I hold the secret of what all I have seen and been through and yet I survived that all. Like a warrior I fought despite of shedding tears at times and crying over the pain. I did not give up on myself. I tried to be strong. I tried to improve. And above all I set up high standards for myself and each day I am working hard to achieve them. I can make things easier too for myself and still I chose something that I knew will be hard for me to achieve but that is the only thing which can make me happy.

It is strange when everyone has given up on me I feel more confident and motivated. When there’s nobody by my side to have faith in me or support me, I feel stronger. My faith in myself has increased. I have certainly started loving myself. I know for others I haven’t achieved anything in life but in my eyes I have achieved a lot. From a diffident broken girl I have emerged as a strong woman. And I am proud of my failures.

All of a sudden there was a knocking at the door which brought my thoughts back to the real world. It was Chotu asking me if I need something.

I decided to have my meal at the
restaurant of the hotel. The restaurant was simple but was cozy. I
sat at the corner table near a huge glass window from where I could
have a view of the outside world. But due to heavy down pour and darkness
of night I could hardly see anything.

Waiting for my dinner I was engrossed in my thoughts so deeply, I did not realize that
somebody is addressing me. ‘excuse me’ I looked up. It was that other
guest of the hotel. ‘Hi, I’m sorry to disturb you but can I share the
table with you? I am Raghu’.

‘There are many empty tables here, why
you want to share it with me?’ I said with an irritable look on my
face.

‘We are alone here so I thought it will be nice to have each
other’s company. We do not have much to do here anyway. These hilly
areas are usually so desolate that sometimes they get real dull’. ‘excuse
me’ cutting him in between I said ‘ I prefer being alone and so I do
not need any company, thank you’. ‘oh I’m sorry to disturb you then’ he said and left looking for another table and finally sat next to my table. He was making me more uncomfortable now. Still I did not leave. I wish I had though……..

Sweta

Stranger Than Strange: Chapter-1

by stumbled thoughts, posted in Blog/ Poetry/ Writings

Life shows a lot of things. The good, the bad and the weird. I was
seeking something all the time without even realizing what. These
thoughts, Ah! I hate them at times. Why my mind keep on thinking
about strange things when I really need to stay calm. I am all clueless about my destination. I have
to reach somewhere safe anyway. The storm is coming up and I still
need to find a place to rest for a while. Ah! This eerie silence before
storms always make me restless. Wonder how much devastation it
will bring with it today. I need to drive faster to avoid getting stuck
in a storm at this desolate place.

To my relief I finally get to see a hotel. It does not look very comely but seem safer to me than driving in the storm. I stop my car and park it outside the hotel.
As I was getting out of the
car, it started raining. I rushed in to save myself from getting
drenched in rain.

Though the hotel looked uncomely from the outside, it was warm and cozy inside. The place did not have many guests. As a woman I feel a bit skeptical of staying
at such a bleak place all alone but I had no other option. I just
prayed to God that the storm passes soon and I reach the nearest
town where I can get to see some more people around. Usually
I love being alone but this time I wished to be surrounded by more
people. I was having a creepy feeling and was ill at ease while
observing the surrounding in despair. The manager of the hotel sensing the
awkwardness on my face finally broke the silence and welcomed me with
a warm smile ‘Hello ma’am, how may I help you’. ‘ Oh hello,  I need a
room for tonight’ I replied. ‘sure ma’am’ he replied with the same
warm smile. As he handed me the keys of my room, the manager called
for Chotu to accompany me to my room.

Chotu must have hardly been in
his early teens. A jolly kind of kid. ‘Namaste madam ji’ he greeted
cheerfully ‘can I help you with the baggage’. I gave him a smiling
nod and handed him my bag. As we were walking towards the stairs, I
heard somebody entering the hotel. I turned around as the manager
greeted this person with that same smile on his face. Ah! Another
fellow stuck in storm like me. But I was relieved to see some more
guests at this God forsaken place. Occupied with my thoughts I kept
walking towards my room following Chotu.

The Lonely Little Girl

by stumbled thoughts, posted in Blog/ Poetry/ Writings

The lonely little girl with her book,

Sat in the corner near the fire-place.

Her eyes glittered as she turned the pages of her book,

She never knew those places even existed.

Her mind pictured the beautiful castle near the woods,

And the beautiful wise princess who saved her Kingdom all the time.

The Princess was not just pretty but brave too,

The little girl found this story completely new.

She had been told that girls cannot be strong,

But this princess was all, she was told to be not.

Everyone told her that girls are stupid,

But this girl was too stubborn to listen.

She wanted to read books and explore the world,

But she was simply told to remain silent.

The lonely little girl ran away far from the world,

Thank God! She was too wild and stubborn.

Sweta